i have always had the most vivid dreams.
after two and a half years, an engagement, and alot of broken
promises and dreams me and my ex-fiance finally just gave up. i
dont think ive ever loved someone on this earth more than her.
i really felt like it was the right thing to do but subconciously
i beat my self to death. i just could not sleep. things got to
really suckin. after awile depression, lack of sleep, and lack of
appitite will about drive a fella mad. just about every night id
have these vivid dreams about my ex. sometimes it would be a
memorey relived. sometimes i would just be walking with her
holding her hand, talking about nothing and loving every minute
of it. other times id have to complete different scenarios
before time ran up. my prize would be just a little more time
with her or in the worst dreams she would offer to tell me what
i had to do to make her love me again. lots of times she would
tell me but i couldnt hear her or someone would pull me away at
the last minute, or that darn alarm clock would wake me up to
another long sleep deprived day at work. after awile these dreams
really began to piss me off, it made me mad that i longed for my
life asleep more than reality. i wrote this song at 515 one
morning after waking up from one of these dreams i had about
three hours of down time and could not fall back to sleep and
figured at least i could get a song out of all this mess lol.
the tough thing about sin is this. Christ wipes clean the
eternal consequences of sin away but sometimes He allows
the present pain to stick around a bit. i dont claim to
understand all the ways God works but i know that He does
work all things out for His glory. i dont think God enjoys
watching me suffer. i believe that choices have consequences,
i made some bad ones and now Christ is using the most hellish
times in my life to bring about Godly character in me. these
dreams have been a time in my life where i have had to face my
choices and decisions and be refined in the fire so to speak(btw
fire is real and fire hurts). this is part of a temporary cross
i must bare and an uphill slant in a race i must run. but run i
shall and bare i must.
-walker |